How to Make Long Distance Relationship Work?

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Do Long Distance Relationships Work?

In fact, yes, they do. I used to think that many long-distance relationships end with a breakup, but in fact, around 60% of couples can overcome all the difficulties, not let the physical distance ruin their feelings, and end up with an engagement or wedding. People just focus on bad things more, and if you’re going to start a long distance relationship or already have it, that’s the worst thing you can do. But what are the right things to do? Let’s take a look.

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work?

Here are the things to do in a long-distance relationship—note that they may seem deceptively simple and easy, but following these rules really takes some effort, and more importantly, a deep understanding of why and for what you are doing it.

• Feel connected. Long-distance dating relationships don’t work without regular communication. None of the partners should feel lonely, none should feel frustrated. Talk as often as you need to remember you’re not alone and your partner is an important part of your life and vice versa.
• Focus on positive feelings and emotions. Yes, a long-distance relationship has drawbacks compared to geographically close relationships. However, if you focus on bad things (a partner didn’t send you a message in the morning, you felt lonely yesterday when they had work to do, etc.), it won’t end well. Focus on the warm words you say to each other, the way you laugh together, things like movies and music you share with each other, that deep emotional connection you have, how well you handle the hardships and stay together—maintain positive feelings.
• Discuss spiritual, philosophical, really important things, too. Talking about your daily routine and nothing but it is one of the worst strategies. Long-distance relationships require deep connection, deep understanding, and therefore, in-depth conversations. Of course, you don’t have to talk about what you think of Descartes’ proof of God’s existence in the morning, that’ll be too much. Just let yourself talk about something important from time to time, share thoughts, and opinions of different values, and beliefs, share your principles and priorities, provide arguments, ask a partner what they think—get to know each other at a new, fundamentally higher level.

Why Long Distance Relationships Don’t Work

If your long-distance relationship doesn’t work, take a look at the list below—maybe, you make some of these mistakes? If you haven’t started a long-distance relationship yet, take a look at them, too—that’s how you can avoid making wrong decisions.

• You don’t plan things together. Plans are what keeps us together and makes you wait for something positive, focus on good things you will have as a couple one day. Not having plans or failing to make them work leads to disappointments and negative emotions, including uncertainty.
• You focus on physical intimacy. Don’t set physical things as your top priority—if you don’t focus on them, it’ll be much easier for you to overcome this challenge of being unable to be physically close to your partner.
• You don’t support each other’s interests. Guitar, sports, video games, whatever your partner likes, all this should be important to you, too. No, you shouldn’t start playing guitar if your partner does, but listening to them and supporting them is a must—that’s how you stay connected at the emotional level (and you’ll always have topics to discuss).
• You don’t feel really close because you’ve never met each other’s friends or family. Introduce your partner to some of your friends online—that kind of proves that you both are serious about your long-distance relationship and hope to turn it into a regular relationship one day.

▶️ Video Tutorial: How to Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Final Thoughts

So, this was my long-distance relationship advice, and I hope it will help you overcome all the difficulties you may face. Long-distance relationships can work, and if you’re motivated enough to follow these rules, you have a very, very good chance to succeed. 

Erin O'Brien

Author

Erin Obrien is the one who writes guides for Dating Jedi and uses developmental and contextual approaches both in her work with clients and when sharing her thoughts with our site visitors. Erin believes that relationships are what shape us and helps people to build those healthy emotional connections.