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How to Talk to a Girl over Text
My general recommendations apply to texting in dating apps, messengers, social media, or SMS:
- Be patient, waiting for a response
With a hectic schedule, a cute girl can answer in a few hours, even if she’s very interested. So don’t give up too soon, but don’t pester her with messages.
- Text when you have something to say
If you have no idea what to say to a girl over text, don’t resort to small talk, as it’s a waste of time for both of you. Instead, use the examples below to start texting.
- Learn to gauge her interest
If you’ve used all the nice things to say to a girl over text and only got one-word responses, ask her directly if she’s busy and what would be a better time for her. She’ll either open up or end things swiftly.
And now, let’s look into how to get to know a girl over text and keep her interested whether you meet her on a dating app likeor or in real life.
What to Text a Girl for the First Time
After getting the number, many guys start wondering how to text a girl for the first time to come off as a cool person. But in reality, your initial conversation can be as simple as reintroducing yourself and seeing if she’s still interested. Here are some examples of how to start texting a girl:
- Identify yourself. “Hi, it’s [name] from [where you met].”
- Remind her of a shared experience. “You got me hooked on lattes from [place]. I’m craving one all day.”
- Pay her a non-creepy compliment. “You seem to know your way around java blends,” not “Your hair smelled really nice.”
- Ask her if she’s more comfortable texting or calling. “If you prefer, I could call you instead.”
- Ask an engaging question. “So what do you think about [something that happened recently]?”.
As you see, your first text to a girl to get her attention doesn’t have to be too deep, explicit, or funny. Your first message is about reigniting contact and starting a conversation.
Good Conversation Topics for Texting a Girl
Aside from politics, religion, and health problems, any topic will do, and if you’re careful enough, you can even use these taboo issues. But to stay on the safe side, try these:
- Favorite food and drink. This is a particularly useful topic, as it will help you learn of any allergies or preferences the girl might have and provide a smooth transition to asking her out.
- Favorite movie or song. Not only will you learn her tastes, which might be completely incompatible with yours, but you will also know which movies or shows to invite her to on a date.
- Vacations and travel. Both are usually ripe with good memories and pleasant associations, so you can exchange your travel stories and compare notes, whether you’ve been to the same places or not.
- Hobbies and passions. Work doesn’t always produce an interesting conversation topic, but most girls love talking about what they do in their free time.
Besides, you can build on anything a woman says by asking her additional questions, such as “Really, why?” or “And then what?”. They will keep the conversation going without awkward pauses or small talk.
How to Keep the Conversation Going with a Girl over Text
Whether you’re using an online dating site, an app, or an SMS, sooner or later, your chat becomes a weird exchange of stilted, one-word texts. To keep the conversation engaging, try one of these tricks:
- Ask an open-ended question about an upcoming event. “So, how do you feel about the upcoming [popular TV show] finale?”
- Return to a previous topic. “By the way, I tried that coffee you recommended, and I absolutely loved it! Do you have other favorites?”
- Ask her how she’s feeling. “I’m kind of beat. How about you?”
- Give her an out of your conversation. “You must be tired after a long day. Do you feel like turning in early?”
As you don’t have eye contact and can’t see her body language when texting, learn to tell when the conversation is waning and sign off before it comes to a standstill. You can pick it up in a few days when you think of something else to discuss.
Funny Texts to Get Her Attention
You don’t need to share a funny meme every time you chat to convince the girl you’re such a cool person, but occasional jokes and fun messages will make her look forward to your chats. Here are some funny first text to a girl examples:
- “You know, only the mainstream can drown a hipster.”
- “Am I a kleptomaniac because I don’t get puns and take things literally?”
- “You know, I’m kinda lazy and the only exercise I do are diddly-squats.”
- “Your dog looks magical. Is it a labracadabrador?”
- “You know, I’m not a lawyer. Talking to me won’t cost you $500 an hour.”
Of course, you shouldn’t use jokes at random when you have nothing better to say, but slipping in an occasional pun will liven up your chat. Besides, you should steer clear of dirty jokes and dark humor until you know the girl’s attitude towards that kind of humor.
Our Expert’s Opinion
Some will tell you texting is for “beta males,” and calls will get you a date sooner. But the truth is that modern dating is built on texting, as it’s the most comfortable and zero-pressure means of letting the girl know the guy she’s texting. Still, it’s important to move the relationship into the next stage within a week or two. Otherwise, you’re falling into the trap of a textuationship, where you know too much about each other to have a successful first date. So even if you’re using dating sites likeor to meet girls, I recommend you try to arrange IRL dates within the first two weeks, especially if you chat daily.
Hopefully, you’ve found some inspiration and insights into how to text a girl you like in this post. Just remember that no matter what you text a girl, sooner or later, your text conversation should turn into calls and dates, or she’ll lose interest, and your dating life will remain the same.
If you got her number, you should be the first to text a girl, even if it’s just to let her know your number. You can touch base the next day to remind her of your meeting and establish a pattern for further communication.
The answer should come naturally to you, depending on your reading of the girl. If she’s quick to respond and engage, you can text her daily. If you’re keeping things casual, you can limit messaging girls to a couple of times per week.
Start incorporating calls into your routine gradually, beginning with short conversations and gradually lengthening them. Ask her if she has a couple of minutes to chat on the phone and offer to share something exciting to generate a positive response and association with your calls.
Within a week of sending your first text message, ask the girl out on a date. It should be a public place you’re both comfortable with. If the date works out, you can develop a relationship. If not, you move on and avoid the trap of getting stuck in a textuationship.
If you’re free, you can text back within a few minutes, having enough time to come up with what you want to say. If you’re busy, try to respond within a couple of hours to let her know you’re still interested, but waiting longer than that can cause her to lose interest.